Dwarf Fortress Tales: Lektadkubuk 1057

Something new, I guess. Little stories based around Dwarf Fortress games.

Lektadkubuk, 24th Galena, 1057

Journal of Hans Ubashet, Human diplomat.
"It was the first time I'd seen dwarfs, let alone one of their mountain outposts. The short industrious creatures reeked of booze. The males had fancy beards, though a good portion of whatever was last consumed soaked the hairy masses. Despite my disgust, I had a duty.
"I met with the outpost leader, Atis 'something unpronounceable'. I'm told the dwarfish mayor's last name means 'Rockwatch', though I don't really care. He showed me around the underground metropolis of one hundred seventy souls, proudly showing me the well-trapped entrance his people have devised. It is apparently called the Hall of Blood because it turns unwanted visitors into puree from all the steel swords in the traps. I asked him why his people would need such measures, for there are no goblins for leagues. He replied that one could never be too careful around tree-loving elves. I suppressed a shudder at the thought of the horrors the elves have visited upon my own peoples' logging companies and bade him to move on with the tour.
"He then showed me the larders of Lektadkubuk, which consisted of barrels upon barrels of foodstuff. He proudly told me that they were prepared for any siege, and that even if all that food were to go, they had long had access to the underground caverns of the region to resupply in the event of an elven siege. This explained why I saw strange plants and mushrooms in parts of the fortress, including the fabled tower caps. Given the stupor many of the dwarfs wandered the halls in, I wondered if the fungi had other more soporific effects.
"Atis brought me to his ostentatious office to work out a deal. It took many days to do so, but we came to an agreement. Many barrels of fine dwarven wine would be exported to us in exchange for gold and precious metals.
"My lord was pleased at this expedition, for the dwarves showed me all their defenses. Soon the dwarfs at Lektadkubuk will learn that it is not only their kind that covet all that glitters and that the arrows of men can be as deadly as those of elves..."
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