Black Comedy

We're not talking about the comedy lineup that UPN offered when they were on the air; we're talking about humor derived from things which are not normally humorous. Usually this is death, but technically any culturally taboo topic will do. Personally I'm a fan of black humor, because the world is filled with darkly humorous events. Just talk to your local members of the armed forces; most of them have some pretty screwed up stories that you can't help but laugh at. The usual topics for black humor are sex and death, the two biggest things that shape the human psyche.

For examples of black humor, let me tell you two stories related to me by a friend who served as a physical therapist for the Air Force up until around the end of the first Gulf War. Let's call these Uncle C's War Stories, and I'll clearly take some liberties with names and specific details. Be warned, these are pretty explicit. Well, okay, I think I can only stomach telling one story...



"Bring me men! Ugly ugly men!" was what started this story. Some British medical guy brought Uncle C up there because he was from the west coast of the US. Clearly they thought he was some kind of gay lifestyle sherpa or something just because he came out of California. Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, this guy was throwing crap at all the female nurses and driving them out of his room. So really, what the hell is going on?

Well, as it turns out, the guy had been wounded by friendly fire because he was dumb enough to keep farting on his buddy when stuck in a foxhole. His buddy (who was also none too bright for not checking his firearm) swore he was going to shoot the farting ass if he kept doing it. The last fart resulted in a firearm being discharged, which went through the buttocks and out through the dude's penis, basically trisecting it.

So uh, when the nurses were trying to attend to him, the injured man (who hadn't seen a woman in who knows how long) starts to get an erection... which pops the stitches. Which prompts the screaming and throwing of things.

At least the doctors there got to write a medical paper on putting back together a trisected penis.
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